How to make an effective break to succeed in saving your couple and getting back together quickly? What are the good actions to avoid a final break in love when we still love his / her partner? What are the techniques for taking a break from your relationship and solving all the problems?
After accompanying hundreds of people in this situation, I decided to give you my recommendations to know how to make an effective break and make your partner want to give a new chance to your story ... Often, a break is synonymous of rupture and I fully understand your anxiety. At this moment, I know that you would like only one thing, to recover the passion of the first days. And you can do it!
In this article you will find my advice and tips, as if you were coaching with me, to help you find the most appropriate solutions to your situation. I insist on this point because each story is really unique and if you want to make an effective break for your couple then you will have to apply a set of small actions but which must be well targeted with YOUR history and the needs of your partner .
Do not try to act in all directions, because by doing so you are more likely to make mistakes than anything else. I even invite you to comment on this page if you have any questions or want to share your personal story with me. I will be glad to answer you !
To have a break in your relationship, what is it exactly?
Before wanting to set up any action plan, it is essential to know exactly what will be involved. In this case, you need to know exactly what " make a break "will mean for your emotional life.You're about to take, or suffer, a decision that will upset your love life.However, it is important not to advance in the blur so as not to have unpleasant surprises or to find yourself helpless in front of a situation that could very quickly escape you.
Breaking or "pausing" means putting distance in the relationship. When the latter is not at the best, as crises multiply and become stronger, you are inevitably closer to the break. Nevertheless, the "break in a couple" can also give a second chance to love and not totally abandon the idea of reconciliation. It is to devote a little more to oneself than to one's couple, to find happiness, each one on one's side, at first.
Taking distance or pause can be defined as a way to avoid conflicts and temporarily put aside the tensions that may exist when your love story is not good. Thus, by giving yourself time alone and without pressure on the shoulders, you will be able to make the right choice after taking stock of your story.
In general, this method to solve the problems of couple is characterized by the absence of sexual relations or even sometimes of kisses or soft gestures. In my opinion, it is better not to do things halfway so for " to be successful in a break "You really have to play the game.
Thus, there must always be a decrease in contacts that is to say fewer calls and fewer messages between you (sms or email). Some techniques of the reconquest can even apply as for example the radio silence that I explain in this article. But it is especially the daily gestures, the activities for two who are in "stand-by" time that you and your partner decide the follow-up to give your story. Indeed, break and couple are two words that may seem to dissociate when in reality they are related, but still it is necessary to manage well this difficult period for the relationship.
Why take a break?
I am one of those who think that to be happy / happy as a couple you must first be satisfied in your personal life. That's why, take a break with his half when your couple is going through a difficult time and you really feel the need is a solution that seems to me more supposed than the final break.
Not only this last leaves traces in the heart of your ex but also in yours. Do not choose a solution too radical or too brutal especially if you hesitate because it is not certain that you feel better after the separation.
But one of the reasons that drives me to make you better understand and discover this notion of "break" is the fact that nowadays, most people separate too quickly. The least dispute, is an excuse for one of the partners decides to end the couple. Separation is sometimes an easy solution and yet this decision can break families.Pausing is a good compromise to know what is the best decision to make and see if it is not possible to revive the flames or ease tensions with the intervention of a sentimental advisor or simply by deciding to change behavior and becoming attached.
How to take a break in a couple?
Before presenting in depth my techniques tested and approved in the field by hundreds of coachees each year (men and women of all profiles), I wanted to talk about the philosophy of the break to make it a strength and you help save your couple. You must probably ask for a break can he save a couple? And the answer is yes. Do not worry, this is not an appropriate response to please you and give you hope. This is an observation from hundreds of happy experiences and couples who got back together after deciding to take a break. However, it will take effort because nothing is won in advance.
When we accept pause in his relationshipwe must use this period to transform it into a force in order to understand "What's wrong with my relationship? Why does not my half feel good? How to make things change? ".
Take the time to really think and write everything on a sheet. This step will help you to empathize, that is, to put yourself in your partner's shoes and at the same time you will see why you yourself were not so happy in this story .
Then, once you have done this work, you will have to take a step ahead of your partner and show him that you understand his expectations. 75% of breaks break when you do not take the initiative to save your story. So act before it's too late.
Put away the distance in a couple: Take the first action!
As you will see this article, I will give you a main mission, that of break the break to succeed in regaining control of the situation and to make your partner want to jump into your arms again.
If you wisely wait for his decision by asking yourself "Is he / she going to want to continue our life as a couple" then you make a big mistake. You will let your partner or your ex make the decision ...
And if you think like this without showing your change, why would he / she give you a new chance? Because you like it? It's just too much of an argument.
You must now look at tip the scales on your side by considering taking control of your break.
During my experience, I realized that the most important thing was always to have your destiny in hand and to be able to impose the tempo. Attention, not being in demand compared to your partner but rather taking the situation in hand with a real change and a dynamic of reconstruction.
Take a break is a chance, it's up to you!
The more you consider this period of distance as a chance to save your story, but also to take the opportunity to revive the positive in your relationship, and you can make the right decisions.
From today, I want to invite you not to be in the negative but rather to seek a real desire to vibrate in your daily life and especially in love. I count on your ability to react to make this couple break a must to regain control of your life:
- What actions or activities did you neglect to focus on your partner?
- Who are the people you have left behind in favor of your story?
- What projects would you have liked to live but which you have set aside to give your energy to your couple?
This break in a couple should be considered as a moment for a thorough reflection on what I call the self-criticism phase. I want to make you wonder, "How could I have made my couple even better? How could I personally be a better partner? "
You will retort "Alexander, the theory is good but what am I doing now?". Be careful not to burn your wings trying to act too quickly towards your he / she. You still have a lot of thought to do before taking control of your destiny and mastering all aspects of the rebirth after a break.
The majority of breaks turn into breaks simply because both partners forget the essence of the relationship. The goal is never to try to possess the other or to say to oneself "Super, I am again in his company".
No, your objective to reform a long-lasting, stable and strong couple will always be to enjoy a maximum of two, to be as happy as possible and to seek to create an exclusive relationship with a maximum of well-being.
These notions are too often forgotten and this is the reason why couples encounter difficulties. Nobody is ever acquired but more than that, it is necessary to maintain its happiness, its complicity, its complementarity, its seduction, its sexuality etc ...
There are many factors to take into account to ensure that the break is effective and I really want today to open your eyes to the importance of put happiness at the center of your thinking (for you and your partner!)
Taking a break was beneficial, how to put me in couple ?!
Have you followed the first tips of this article and are you ready to take action now? You feel your self confidence come back little by little and you would like to find the right actions to put in place to do not come to a break ?
Know that nothing will happen as you have planned ... There are always hazards because you can not be in the head of your half, but you can instead prepare for all eventualities. It is to move in the right direction that I recommend to go through personalized coaching. To learn more about my services or to book a session, it's here.
While waiting to guide you individually, here are the most important points to remember when we go for a break.
1 / During a break in keep total control of your emotions
You need to know that your partner will try by all means to verify that your change is truly authentic. Expect to have tests, to face past mistakes, negative emotions such as anger, bitterness, sadness ...
If you accept this idea then you will be able to relativize his words, his actions and his distance.
So you must now accept the situation, keep a linear attitude regardless of his behavior and attitude.
2 / Do not talk anymore about your understanding of things ...
The fundamental mistake you tend to make is to want to shout both your love but also your understanding. You can say it loud and clear to your partner, it will not help you to end the break of the couple.
So stop immediately to stoop in a lane that does not work. You must take the opposite of your instinctive thoughts to simply fix on the need to recreate complicity.
Your first objective is to make your partner smile, to dramatize the situation to reintegrate the positive and a real agreement between you!
To know how to proceed, I give you in the next paragraphs all my tricks according to the situation in which you are, whether you are a man or a woman.
My man wants a break: how to attract him again?
Your man has just announced his desire to make a break and you wonder "how to make him hooked again?". You are on the right track if you think so because you will soon be able to reverse what I call "the balance of power".
In the majority of couples who decide to take a break, there is always one person who made that decision a bit more than the other. In your case, it is your companion who took it and who wishes to put your couple on stand-by. To go further, here is a podcast to listen to as soon as possible.
You will notice that under these conditions you are the dominated person and it is sir who has full powers in your story. It is HE who decides to take a break, to leave you or to come back with you. Our goal to make him addicted is to find a way to reverse this balance of power and regain control of the situation.
You must always seek to have your destiny in your hands and not to leave it to your partner. Discover how to get there!
1 / Taking distance to increase your value
I know very well that you can be afraid to get away physically and emotionally because you feel that by doing so your man will completely forget you. And yet, it is often this distance that will allow you to increase your personal value and make him want to return faster than expected.
Taking distance does not mean simply stopping dialogue with him. During this time, you should invest fully in new activities, take charge of your life, become the woman you knew at the beginning of your story.
So make the commitment to see your loved ones, to redo the sport, to become a femme fatale again and with full confidence of its means. If your story was recent and you say my boyfriend wants to take a break, you must adopt the same strategy.
Turning off the ignition or keeping the distance will help you to reverse the thought of your man who will no longer say "Anyway, it is acquired, I can come back when I want" but rather "I did not believe it as strong finally, it's worth it. "
If you have reached this point, believe me you will have made a huge leap! If your partner notices that you no longer need to write to him and that you are now more detached from your feelings then the whole situation changes. The break will become a real way to change it or to reseduire!
2 / A new start after the break and a more intense seduction ...
You will agree with me when I explain that the break comes especially when the story begins to become monotonous and that the routine settles a little too much. In this situation it is difficult to really make each other happy. You will be afraid of doing wrong, afraid to act to change things or just afraid of losing this man you love more than anything in the world.
And yet, during the break period and after the distance phase to fully rebuild, you will absolutely have to ACT! This is really the time to show the man that we love that we are in a new phase of seduction, very intense.
For that, you must absolutely consider that this story is like a new beginning. Which means you reset the counters and that you will be able to put a little novelty, originality and charm during your appointments.
Do not show yourself acquired or in love.
When I pass on this advice to the women I accompany, the first question that comes up systematically is "Alexander, I understand what you are telling me, but how to put it into practice?"
You have from now on essentially two rules to respect:
- Never talk about a couple, the past or your feelings again. Leave these three subjects behind and you will have a chance to resed it very quickly.
- Always think of making your man smile by considering that you are talking to your best friend. Put yourself in conditions of letting go and total zenitude!
By respecting these recommendations, and following these two steps you will make a real good forward and you can quickly save your couple. Remember that it is important to avoid your man's decision to break up and you can still make things happen at the cost of a thorough analysis of his expectations and a profound change.
My wife wants a break: how to make her fall in love?
The big one difference between men and women who are in a break is at the level of emotions. To succeed in redoing his girlfriend in love, you will have to bet on the importance of proving to him that you have understood him, that you are on the same wavelength and that you have already taken action to give him even more certainty about the future.
If the "balance of power" remains the central point to save his relationship during a break in love, we will use different methods to make her fall in love and make him want to give you a new chance but more than that to invest again in the couple.
I see very often women who are inactive and men who seek all the solutions of the world. Unfortunately, you will not be able to cope well. Do not try to be perfect because you will return a bad image, that of an ephemeral change. You must therefore focus on the long term and build on trust.
How can I make my wife want to trust me again?
By working with the men I help during a break or sentimental breakup, I realized that the most important thing in this situation was to regain their wife's trust.
You need to show her your ability to change but more than that to what she says to herself "He understood everything". Here's how to get there:
Use terms specific to his lexical field: It is important for your wife to give you his confidence that you show him that you are in the same state of mind as her. You can then base your dialogues on needs that she would have expressed as for example: "I am happy to find myself and to be happier" or "I am relieved to take back in hand because I was not proud of me ".
Underlined words are terms that I often hear in coaching, and in pronouncing them you will naturally associate your change with your desires. What better situation and intrigue for it to open a little more.
In addition, you must use emotions when talking about your daily life. As men we tend to say "I went shopping" or "I went out last night, it was good".Except that women, for their part, need to obtain details and to be able to live the situation in your company. Do not hesitate to add how much fun you had when your favorite childhood movie hit the pub where you joined Luc and Sandra, two university friends you had not seen before. for 20 years.
The big difference between your habits and this more precise discourse is to give rise to emotions (most often positive) in your partner's mind to prevent her from taking the decision to break definitively. How are you going to get there ? Just showing him that you have changed. The text above is completely natural and you do not need to do more to make him want to take interest in you.
Finally, the last technique to set up for make his wife want to break the break and to revive your couple is always trying to generalize your attitude. You need to prove that you are able to show lasting change and change your look, your physique, your diet, your work methodology, your socialization, your daily life, your state of mind, ...
It's your task now to show a new personality to make him want to take a step towards you. She will naturally recover her feelings and fall back in love as in the first days of your story if you respect these elements.
What if my wife wants to take her time?
Another big difference between men and women. You risk gentlemen having to take time and to be patient while continuing your efforts over time, as I explain in this article: how to react if my girlfriend wants a break?
I invite you never to panic or raise the tone and even less to annoy you because you could ruin everything in a split second. To get out of this situation and find pleasure with your partner, you should focus on the desire to share activities with two.
Put all your energy and focus on making original outings to reconnect with your wife and demonstrate that you can truly enjoy two and relive the "first time" - unique moments and who will tighten your bonds.
You will have to be original and do not hesitate to search for unique and fun activities. I'm sure you already have ideas in mind, just organize yourself to make them come true. To go further, I invite you to listen to the podcast below.
So if your wife wants to take her time, do not panic! This is the time to be patient, to make him want to see you little by little through activities that really bring you pleasure and you can successfully reverse the trend and revive your entire couple.
The detail not to neglect during a sentimental break!
The big difference between break and break is the fact that you are not single! Your love story is not over! Your couple, although weakened, is not broken and this distance is an ideal way to consider reforming. But for that, the duration of the break will have a considerable importance.
The ideal duration is two to six weeks because a few days are not enough to reflect on the action to be taken but beyond a certain period of time, it may also take the wrong direction. It must therefore allowtake time for yourself because it is essential, as I said before, since to overcome a crisis of couple you must first find yourself.
If you ever find that the break becomes longer and longer, then it will react and consider that you are not on break but rather in full separation, especially if you have more news.
The break is not inevitable so do not be afraid to act
You now know my advice for succeed in making an effective break and to save your story. It is really the moment to go through the reflection box to ask yourself "How did we get to that point?", then to action by offering your half solutions to move forward.
Paradoxically, a break in the relationship can help you get off to a good start and find a true joie de vivre in your relationship, especially when the routine starts to settle too much.
I encourage you to make firm and radical decisions and stick to them. This both for your personal well-being because the seduction holds a very important place during the break to prove its value to his / her partner, but also for your family if any and to tell you that you have tried everything because it There is nothing worse than regrets.
Feel free to put energy to value your lifestyle and prove to your spouse that he / she also has a lot to lose if ever his decision was to leave the great person that you become today !
By adopting this behavior you will be able to balance the balance of power, find charm and joie de vivre in order to be in a couple but also and especially happy to two!
I sincerely wish you the best and if you have questions do not hesitate to ask me in the comments, I will answer you with pleasure. If you want to deepen your knowledge and put in place an effective strategy on foot, I advise you to follow my training "The art of saving your couple" that you will find here or follow a coaching session by phone or Skype.
Alexandre CORMONT, coach in love to know how to make an effective break and save his relationship.