Emotional adultery ?! Anything ... It exists? Oh yes ... And a lot of weddings are devastated because of that.
Emotional infidelity happens when one of the spouses begins to invest his affection in a third person, outside the marriage ... afriend… afriend... who, slowly, takes the place of the spouse in the heart of adultery. This relationship, like gangrene, nibbles the emotional intimacy of the spouses, until the adulterous spouse ends up being disinterested, then finally disgusted by his spouse and secretly telling himself "there is nothing between us ", " we have nothing in common ".
How do we end up falling into emotional adultery?
It's not very complicated: you do not have healthy boundaries with the opposite sex. You deceive yourself by false reasoning by telling yourself that you are above temptation and that you are managing. Until a sexual attraction is born and you start programming secret appointments like a young teenager with that person ... you end up falling into sexual impurity. I talk about it in this article.
It is difficult to get out of it as long as you do not recognize this extra-marital relationship as adultery. Many people mistakenly think that as long as there is no intimate relationship, it is not adultery. In reality, it is one. Having a "friend" to whom you share intimate details of your life that you do not even tell your spouse is unhealthy. It's introducing a third person into your relationship.
Here is what I heard from God when preparing this post: "Protect the sanctuary from your heart Protect your thoughts Do not let any strangers in. This will affect the quality of your relationship with your spouse Protect your heart."
Read: 4 Steps to Adultery
How to be free from emotional adultery?
I promised to share resources to be free from emotional adultery and work towards the restoration of her marriage. Here are some tips to cure:
Invite the Lord Jesus in your situation
God does not judge you. God wants to free you from anything that could destroy your life. Do not be afraid to invite Him sincerely to this situation and to ask His grace to come out and be restored.
Renew your thoughts
The enemy has successfully introduced a lie in you that you are or will be happier / happy with this person foreigner. Reject that thought. Detach this stranger from where you put her in your heart and start seeing this relationship as an unhealthy relationship.
For the lips of the stranger distil honey, and her palate is sweeter than oil; But in the end it is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. His feet go down to death, his steps reach the grave. [...] Stay away from the path that leads to her home, and do not go near the door of her house, lest you give your strength to others, and your years to a cruel man. (Proverbs 5: 3-9)
The way you see this relationship must change, and you make the decision to expel that person from your thoughts. Everything starts there.
Expose the situation to your spouse.
If you have a "friendship" a little too much outside the marriage, expose that to your spouse. This will bring light into the situation. This will break the power of this secret relationship and allow the healing process to begin. As long as there is a secret, it will be easy for you to go back and fall. So the sooner you expose it, the better. I explain it in this article.
Run away !
Simply withdraw from this relationship. You do not need to explain or apologize. Do not give this person the opportunity to convince you that it does not matter ... Be radical. Do as Joseph did with Potiphar's wife who was trying to seduce him: leave everything if it is necessary and run away!
To flee is to put a great distance between us and the source of temptation Click to tweet
Cut the contact
Avoid any contact with this person. At first, it will be like a weaning. This person will probably miss you and you'll want to call her back or find her. When these moments come, ask the Lord for help and refocus your thoughts on your family. Call your spouse. Intentionally share what you would have liked to share with the other. If you cultivate the habit of refocusing your thoughts on your spouse and investing (time, resources, energy) at home, you will eventually be released and forget about that other person.
Agree with your spouse on what you will both put in place to eliminate all contact with each other in the future, and strengthen your relationship. Do it.
And if you have to collaborate with that other person because he's a co-worker, then make sure clear boundaries and do not talk about anything that is not professional.
Break the bonds of soul
Break any emotional connection between you and this person through prayer. Simply state that any soul bond be broken to you and that you are now free from all attachments in the name of Jesus.
If possible, get help from your pastor or marriage counselor.
Your heart will heal quickly if you are sincere in your approach. However, it will take time for your relationship with your spouse to be restored. Spend time with your spouse. Invest both in your relationship. Work hand in hand to rebuild trust between you.
It is possible to rebuild everything and I wish you with all my heart.
Stay abundantly blessed!